


The Ladies and the Scamp

by k_rose_m (Flipkat)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Gen, Technically not petstuck?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2012-11-10
Packaged: 2017-11-18 09:50:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flipkat/pseuds/k_rose_m
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a canine Karkat  gets ALL THE BELLY RUBS, forever.</p><p> </p><p>For a prompt here, for Jade and human!Terezi, with Karkat as her seeing-eye dog: http://homesmut.livejournal.com/11448.html?thread=19504568#t19504568</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Karkat Makes a New Friend

:?  
?  
hey boy, where’s your person?  
…YOU SMELL NICE.  
hee hee! want some ear scritches?  
A BLUH BLUH BLUH BLUH. OH DON’T YOU DARE STOP.  
oh, you like that, huh? how about a belly rub?  
ASDFGHKLAGSHSKH!  
OH NO! TH4T WH1MP3R1NG SOUND C4N ONLY M34N YOU’V3 SHORT-C1RCU1T3D MY DOG’S BR41N W1TH B3LLY RUBS!  
:O oh noooooo!  
N4H, 1T’S F1N3. H3’LL B3 B4CK TO NORM4L 1N 4 F3W M1NUT3S. H1S D1STR4CT1B1L1TY 1S ON3 OF TH3 R34SONS 1 4LW4YS M4K3 SUR3 TO L34V3 3XTR4 T1M3 TO G3T 4NYWH3R3.  
1N F4CT W3 W3R3 RUNN1NG 34RLY TOD4Y SO 1 STOPP3D H3R3 TO S33 1F TH3 JUDG3 JUDY B1OGR4PHY 1 R3QU3ST3D H4D COM3 1N.  
but how will you read it? is it in Braille?  
NO, 1’M G3TT1NG TH3 4UD1OBOOK. 1’M T3R3Z1 BY TH3 W4Y, 4ND TH4T QU1V3R1NG LUMP ON TH3 FLOOR 1S K4RK4T.  
nice to meet you! i’m jade. uh, if you don’t mind my saying so, isn’t that kind of a funny name for a dog?  
H3 C4M3 W1TH 1T! 1 4LW4YS F1GUR3D H3 GOT 1T FROM B31NG 1N 4 SORT OF P3RM4N3NTLY UPS3T ST4T3, L1K3 4 C4T 1N 4 C4R.  
hee! how cute! is he really? and sorry about the quivering lump thing, by the way.  
OH DON’T WORRY 4BOUT 1T! 1 DO 1T TO H1M SOM3T1M3S JUST B3C4US3 1 TH1NK TH3 W4Y H1S L3G TW1TCH3S 1S 4DOR4BL3.  
H3 D1DN’T TRY TO B1T3 YOU OR 4NYTH1NG? H3’S PR3TTY GROWLY MOST OF TH3 T1M3.  
no, he was a perfect gentleman! it was me who was harassing him. :P  
DON’T B3L13V3 1T! H3 LOV3S 4TT3NT1ON.  
BLUH. WHAT HAPPENED? OH, YOU’RE BACK, MY PERSON.  
AH H3’S COM1NG 4ROUND. W3’D B3TT3R G3T GO1NG. N1C3 M33T1NG YOU J4D3!  
likewise! er, see you around?  
Y34H PROB4BLY ;]  
WAIT. WHY ARE WE LEAVING? THAT OTHER PERSON WAS GIVING ME EAR SCRITCHES!  
OH RIGHT, YOU HAVE TO GO TO “CLASS” AGAIN TODAY.  
SERIOUSLY, WE’VE GONE THERE SO MANY TIMES YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT ON YOUR OWN BY NOW.


	2. What Coffee?

WHY 4R3 W3 CROSS1NG TH3 STR33T H3R3? 1S TH3R3 CONSTRUCT1ON 4H34D?  
SCREW YOUR FACE-GASH NOISES. I SMELL MY OTHER PERSON OVER THERE, WITH A CARAMEL MOCHA LATTE AND HALF A CINNAMON BUN SHE THINKS SHE’S SAVING FOR LATER.  
W3LL YOU KNOW B3ST 1 GU3SS…  
HEY. HEY. HEY!  
i know that bark! it’s karkat and terezi!  
J4D3! WH4T 4 N1C3 SURPR1S3. WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG OUT H3R3?  
i was trying to get a pumpkin spice coffee at starbucks, but they were out. :/  
D1D YOU TRY TH3 ST4RBUCKS DOWN TH3 STR33T?  
but I already got a coffee…  
CINNAMON BUN SNEAK ATTACK!  
ack!  
oh nooooo!  
S33! YOU DROPP3D YOUR COFF33! TH1S MUST B3 F4T3. L3T M3 BUY YOU 4NOTH3R ON3 TO M4K3 UP FOR 1T. 4 SUP3R1OR PUMPK1N ON3 TH1S T1M3! :]  
hee hee! okay.  
(PSST! GOOD BOY K4RKL3S!)  
OM NOM NOM. A BLUH BLUH BLUH.


	3. In Which Aid Is Solicited

hello?  
J4D3! 1T’S M3!  
:O terezi? how did you get my number?  
1 BROWB34T D1R3CTORY 4SS1ST4NC3. GOT ‘3M ON SP33D D14L!  
so what’s up?  
4R3 YOU FR33 TH1S W33K3ND?  
yes…er, maybe? why do you ask?  
1 N33D SOM3 H3LP G1V1NG K4RKL3S 4 B4TH.  
A WHAT.  
WHOOPS! 1 TH1NK H3 H34RD M3.  
TELL ME YOU DIDN’T JUST SAY THAT.  
he doesn’t like baths, huh?  
Y34H, TH4T’S WHY 1’V3 L3FT 1T SO LONG. H3’S ST4RT1NG TO SM3LL L1K3 4 FR4T HOUS3 SOF4.  
:/ leaving aside the issue of how you know what that smells like…  
…AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO START SAYING “BEE AY TEE AITCH” AS THOUGH I DIDN’T KNOW IT MEANS EXACTLY THE SAME THING…  
…boy, he’s getting kinda worked up over there, isn’t he? :D  
sure, i’d be happy to come help!  
:] GR34T! 1F 1 L34V3 1T 4NY LONG3R H3’LL ST4RT TO SM3LL L1K3 4 SOF4 TH4T 3V3N TH3 FR4T HOUS3 COULDN’T ST4ND 4NY LONG3R, 4ND R3TURN3D TO TH3 DUMPST3R TH3Y OR1G1N4LLY FOUND 1T 1N.  
oh, bluh. :/  
SO L3T M3 G1V3 YOU D1R3CT1ONS – 1’M R1GHT N34R TH3 C4MPUS, SO 1T SHOULDN’T B3 TOO H4RD TO F1ND. OH, 4ND YOU’D B3TT3R BR1NG 4 SW1MSU1T OR 4 CH4NG3 OF CLOTH3S.  
he’s that bad, huh. :/  
YUP.


	4. Teamwork

J4D3! COM3 ON 1N! 1’V3 GOT 3V3RYTH1NG S3T UP 1N TH3 B4THROOM 3XC3PT 1 L3FT TH3 TOW3LS OUTS1D3 TH3 DOOR. M4YB3 YOU C4N CO4X K4RK4T OUT FROM UND3R TH3 B3D.  
NO NO NO NO NO – IS THAT OTHER PERSON? OH THANK GOG YOU’RE HERE! QUICK, TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS MADWOMAN!  
hey, he came right out!  
H3 MUST L1K3 YOU. H3’S 4 GOOD JUDG3 OF CH4R4CT3R 1 MUST S4Y!  
hee hee! thanks!  
WAIT WHY ARE WE GOING THIS WAY INSTEAD OF OUTSIDE OH NO NO NOOOOO…  
boy, he sure has a good set of lungs on him!  
Y34H 1T’S H4RD TO SHUT H1M UP ONC3 H3 G3TS ST4RT3D. OK4Y TH3 DOOR’S S3CUR3D NOW W3 JUST H4V3 TO G3T H1M 1NTO TH3 TUB!  
one, two, three, heave!  
ACK ACK ACK I’M ALL WEEEET…  
NOW HOLD H1M DOWN SO H3 C4N’T SH4K3 4ND 1’LL RUB 1N TH3 SH4MPOO!  
ACK ACK ACK LET ME UP LET ME GO!  
ow!  
watch it, fuckass!  
:[ J4D3? YOU OK4Y?  
OW. OW. OW. OKAY, I’LL BE GOOD.  
H3 QU13T3D R1GHT DOWN! WH4T H4PP3N3D?  
ha ha! the newspaper triumphs once again!  
1 SHOULD G3T YOU TO H3LP M3 MOR3 OFT3N! :]

SUCC3SS! H3’S CL34N 4ND DRY.  
and lying on top of me!  
4 M1NOR 1SSU3! :]  
hey boy, you can’t stay there!  
“STAY?”  
OH NO.  
what?  
“STAY.”  
“ST4Y” 1S 4BOUT TH3 ONLY COMM4ND H3 KNOWS.  
YOU UH M4Y B3 TH3R3 4 WH1L3.  
W4NT 4 P1LLOW? :]  
wait, i’ve got a better idea!  
belly rub sneak attack!  
ARGLBLARGL THAT’S NOT FAIR, I WAS BEING GOOD!  
why’s he whining like that?  
YOU M3SS3D UP H1S “ST4Y.” 1 TH1NK H3’S R34L PROUD OF 1T.  
aww! poor Karkat! how about some ear scritches to make up for it?  
A BLUH BLUH I’M STILL MAD AT YOU BLUH BLUH BLUH OKAY FEELING A LITTLE BETTER NOW BLUH BLUH BLUH KEEP GOING BLUH…  
how about…  
ear scritch and belly rub combo! :)  
DOUBL3 B3LLY RUB!  
ADFDSDH BLUH BLUH SDAFSAGSD!  
wow, all four legs went wild that time! :D  
H3H H3H! W3 M4K3 4 GR34T T34M! :]


End file.
